What is SUCCESS???

I guess for each of us success would mean something different depending on our upbringing and ambitions in life. I know that my idea of success was neither healthy or helpful.

I would say that I used to define success as the accomplishment of creating a certain lifestyle for myself, whilst at the same time being recognized for my skills and contributions to my clients. To cut through the bullshit and candy coating I defined success as making money. It was easy for me to fall into this trap. If I made money I would be able to do all the things I really wanted to do. So, it was perfectly logical to work hard and make money, and then spend the money and enjoy the spoils of it.

Well, that did not work out the way I had planned. Six months ago, I ended up having a nervous breakdown; major depressive order; burnout or any one of the many names that people have analyzed it as. The reality is I was spent, I could not get out of bed, I could not drive or do the most basic of tasks. Even thinking made me feel exhausted. Just like that everything I had known about work and my career ground to a halt.

So here I am six months later, contemplating success. What on earth is this elusive success that we all chasing? How will I define success now that I am starting from scratch again? What would it look like if I was successful? One thing that I have come to realize is that I thought of myself as a successful person before the breakdown. I had a wonderful family, I was engaged to my Soul Mate, I had my dream house and an excellent career that was entering a wonderful stage ripe for expansion and I could capitalize on my years of experience gained in the industry. But I broke down, that was not successful. The funny thing is that I thought I was successful, but I never seemed to have time.

“Success” and the money that came along with it took away my time and my life. I was always busy, on the phone, checking mail, off to a meeting, reading industry news, watching the news and staying up to date with current affairs.

Wow, that is a powerful conclusion. Money took away my time and my life and I honestly thought that more money would buy me more of each. Money for holidays, money to retire, money to live comfortably. At what cost?

In the past three months, I have really focussed on healing myself and working to get mentally fit again. What I have found though is that I have so much time on my hands to do the things that I am immensely passionate about. In fact, there is so much that I want to do the days are just flying by. It is as if I am trying to cram in all the time I lost in my years at work.

So, my question to myself is: “How do I define success?”

Right now, my life is far more balanced than I ever remember. I am eating healthy meals, I practice yoga and meditation daily. I have been writing again and recently started drawing as well. I have on occasion picked up my drum and played again. I have even started “working” again. So, I guess I could say that leading a balanced life could be how I would define my life at the moment but is that success?

I find it hard to define success for myself when I take away the ego. Much of my success definitions are all rooted in some egotistical manifestation. I would love to say this was not so, but presently that is my reality, and as such, I do not yet have a definition of success for myself yet.

What would you advise? What does success look like for you?


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My crAzy 2017….

My theme for 2017 is: LESS TALK MORE ACTION. I have decided to just get on with things and stop procrastinating, stop dreaming and start doing. Time has a habit of swiftly moving ahead whilst one is caught up in the day to day activities of life. Next year I turn 40. I had big dreams of who I would become and what I would have done by the time I reached 40. In fact, when I was still at school I remember being asked by our Phys. Ed. Teacher where I would be and what I would have achieved by 40. I have always had dreams and goals that I worked towards, and whilst life brought unexpected circumstances to the table I can confidently say that I have achieved a substantial number of my objectives.

This leads me to my next thought though; have I undersold myself? Were my dreams not big enough? Did I set goals that I knew I could easily achieve? I like to think that I have worked conscientiously on myself and that I have stretched myself. Yes, there may have been seasons where I took things a little easier or my focus was not entirely on the long-term goals, but overall I have consistently worked towards the bigger plan and despite some people not seeing the possibilities the way I did.

So here I am at the end of month number five for 2017. What have I achieved this year? Well my writing has completely stalled. So that did not get traction, however I have had a very productive year to date. Some of my notable achievements are:

  • Getting engaged to Tania. My lover, my friend, my partner and my biggest supporter
  • Taking a 10-day break to Cape Town to strategize and get crAzy always wins! off the ground
  • Registering to study through University of Cape Town / Get Smarter
  • Started Karate with my son
  • Amalgamated our family insurance business with a national group
  • Growing the crAzy always wins! brand


So in keeping with my theme of LESS TALK MORE ACTION, we decided to make a difference through our crAzy always wins! brand at a meeting early in February. Here we are four months later, we have a crew of five crAzy’s and we are doing our first charity event to raise funds for the local SPCA on the 30th May. Grab your tickets free ticket here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/crazy-about-animal-care-tickets-34421163627?aff=eac2#tickets

So, whilst the year is marching on, I think I am well on track to achieving my goals. I am not scared of turning 40 next year, in fact I am looking forward to bigger and better thing for the next 40 years. I will be far wiser and level headed and my goals will be far bigger and fulfilling.

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Things are not always what they seem

My last post was in February. I had written about letting go and releasing things that I was holding onto. I felt that it was time to let the magic start happening. So here we are, a few days before Spring starts, and I have taken account of the journey that has been 2016.

My first thoughts when I think of 2016 are thoughts of struggle and difficulty. Yet that is not the absolute truth. In fact 2016 may well go down in my book as one of my defining years. This year has seen some amazing developments happening for me.

To start we managed to buy a home, not just any home, our dream home. Continue reading

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It was a long winter. A time of upheaval and stress. A time of letting go of the known and heading into the unknown. Time for change and discomfort and getting rid of old habits. Habits that worked both for and against me had to go. I tried holding onto some things but it was futile, the die was cast and the numbers were up. The winds of change were blowing through my life and right then the only thing that felt like the absolute truth to me was the little voice inside me whispering messages of Hope, Faith and Trust that everything was going to be okay. Continue reading

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I Should Be Engaged.

Source: I Should Be Engaged.

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Dreams do come true


“Dreams do come true.” This is a phrase that anyone who has watched fairy tales would have heard over and over again. But life is not a fairy tale, or is it?

This year the Theme that Tania and I set for ourselves as a couple is exactly that. Dreams do come true, and we are going to go about creating that very experience for ourselves. So on top of my personal theme of Awaken I am going about realizing my dreams. Continue reading

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Awaken – to be roused from sleep.

New Adventures

This is my theme for 2016. Somewhere along my path I feel as if I have nodded off, hit the cruise control and kind of activated automatic pilot for my life. I go through times where I wake up, grab the proverbial steering wheel of life, change direction and then get into my comfort zone and cruise along. I tend to go with the flow, sometimes I just follow the crowd and time slips by relatively unnoticed, little change takes place and everything is fairly comfortable and predictable. The uncomfortable comfort zone of my life. Continue reading

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