The Circle of Influence

Just over a month ago I launched my first Mastermind group: The Circle of Influence.

I would like to share a story of two people that were interested in being part of the group. Let’s call them J and Silent Bob.

Neither J nor Silent Bob had the money to pay for the program. However, J decided that he needed to shift his mindset and do something different to get different results. Silent Bob thought that he could make the shift by himself, and besides, he did not have the money right then.

Somehow, J managed to come up with the money and enrolled in the program. Silent Bob said that he would join the next Mastermind group.

The ticket sales for my next Mastermind group will be closing shortly, so I thought I would call Silent Bob and ask him if he would like to join us this time. But oh dear, he still doesn’t have the money.

J, on the other hand, sent me an email last week. In one morning alone, he secured four new clients and set up an appointment for another. He spends less time trying to find clients and less time closing the deals. J has already made more money from the lessons he has learned than he spent on the course itself. In fact, he did that in a single morning after just three weeks of the program.

Tomorrow is week four and I am excited to hear what feedback J has from this week. I already know what Silent Bob achieved as he told me when he once again put off joining the program. No surprises but business is slow, and there is no money and no time to do this program.

Why did J’s sales suddenly increase and where did he find this extra time?

The way I see it, J has committed to shift. He took massive action, made a financial investment at a time when money was hard to come by, and he has committed to the program. J is simply following a proven process and doing the work, and the results are speaking for themselves.

Are YOU a J or are you a Silent Bob?

Are you going to take action and take control of your business? Are you willing to follow a proven process, which you get to customize to your specific needs to start generating more money?
Do you believe in yourself enough to invest your time to learn and redesign some of your sales processes?
OR
Are you going to keep doing what you are currently doing and hope that things will change?

If you choose to be Silent Bob, one thing that I can guarantee is that you will save yourself the cost of joining the Mastermind group.

However, if you choose to be J, there is no limit as to how much you will increase your earning potential. You get to hold the pen to your chequebook and you get to choose what numbers you want to make.

There are a limited number of spaces available for the next online Mastermind group, and if Silent Bob has done the smart thing and made the mind shift there will be one less.

Be like J and follow this link to book your place. Your click determines your future.
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The Art of Magic

What is magic? My gran (Ouma) was a magician. She used two wands, and in a matter of no time at all could create wonderful works out of seemingly meaningless objects. Objects that were work of her passion, love, and creativity. I still have one of these objects that I treasure dearly.

Her magic ability was turning a ball of wool into wonderful knitted items. Even though the knitting ceased many, many years ago I still have a jersey that she made. I remember the clicking of her knitting needles as we sat next to her chatting away. The thin strand of wool transforming into a knitted sheet, like a page magically appearing out of our office printer.

I see magic all around me. The flower that senses the sunlight and can unfold her delicate petals to soak up the light. The fish that has mastered the ability to breath underwater. The bird that has understood the limits of gravity and defied this universal force that holds us bound to the earth. The list is endless. Even the very act of taking a breath is magical, think about it for a moment. We breathe in this invisible, odorless gas that is all around us and our very lives depend on it. Try holding your breath for 5 minutes and see how quickly you start believing in the magic of fresh air.

So, what is the point of this post? What am I getting at?

It is up to each of us to open our eyes to the magic that is all around us. Anything can be magical. I push some buttons on my keyboard and these words appear on the screen. Yes, there is logic behind this and this is all by design but is that not the essence of magic. I do not know to build the components of this computer or how to write a program to make it work, but someone does. For me, though this is the magic. Some magicians have abilities that appear to be supernatural, yet for the practiced magician, it is akin to the kid at Microsoft working on the update for the next version of Microsoft Word.

Where do you choose to see the magic in your life, and how would your life be different if you noticed the magic all around you?

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When last were you bored?

Remember those long holidays when you were a kid and eventually ended up getting bored of being at home? Or sitting as a passenger in the car and wondering when you will ever get there?

We have three children, and very often our youngest will come complain to Tania or I that she is bored and there is nothing to do. Our response is generally off you go, go find something to keep you busy or read a book. We purposefully create unstructured time within our lives for the children to learn to use their creativity. Science and research show that boredom is beneficial for children and fosters a sense of independence.

As an adult though, when last were you bored? I am sure that many of you might wish you had a little time to indulge in a childhood luxury like boredom (or going to bed early). Yet adults are always busy. We never have time to be bored because life is filled with important things. Pause for a moment and consider how you would genuinely feel if you were bored for an hour? Don’t read on until you have an answer for yourself.

Studies release early in 2017, show that the average adult spends 135 minutes a day on some form of Social Media. (The Statistics Portal – statista.com) That is 2 hours 15 minutes. Another source (socialmediatoday.com) claims that in your lifetime (if you are an average social media user) you will spend 5 years 4 months on social media. This excludes surfing the internet to browse websites. That is enough time to climb Mount Everest 32 times or walk the Great Wall of China 3.5 times.

So, if you are not bored maybe you should put away the phone, or whatever device you are reading this article on.

Now imagine for a moment that you do take a social media sabbatical. I want you to cast your mind back to when you were a young child, maybe staring at the rain from behind the window mumbling about how boring the day is. Imagine that there is nothing to do, absolutely nothing. Really connect with that feeling of having nothing to do and facing the dreaded boredom. How does that make you feel? Do you start to feel anxious about all the work or chores that you need to get done? Do you feel that you have better things to do than just sit around and be bored? Or, do you feel a huge weight lifted off you and you breath a sigh on relief and soak up in the joy of having absolutely nothing to do for the next 2 hours and 15 minutes? Do you feel different from what you thought you might feel when I asked you at the end of the 3rd paragraph of this article?

What could you learn about yourself if you stopped doing what you are automatically doing everyday and allow yourself to be bored? Do you think that you might rediscover an old hobby that you never have the time for, or start dreaming about starting that new activity that you had forgotten you once wanted to try out? Could it be that there are some monsters inside your head that you would rather not think about, so you just keep busy?

If you find that it has been years since you felt bored, then why not set aside some time for yourself to do nothing. Resist the temptation to read a book or to fold the laundry, resist the temptation to turn on the tv or to check your emails. Give yourself a few minutes and just ease into the state of boredom as if it is a nice deep hot bath filled with the most glorious smelling bubbles and relax.

For those of you who do manage to bore yourselves, please comment below and let me know how it went.

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Two things I gained from being Mindful

Since the middle of April this year I have spent over 68 hours in meditation and completed just short of 270 sessions ranging from 3 minutes to 40 minutes in duration. My average time of meditation is around 15 min per session and I often end up doing more than one session a day. All of this has helped me live a far more mindful life.

What does that mean? A more mindful life.

Firstly, I find I am far more present in my surroundings. Whether that be alone on a walk or engaging with people, I am more focused on being fully immersed in the here and now and not caught up over thinking or wondering what to do or say next.

Secondly, I have found this to have a huge impact on my work with clients. I have no anxiety about needing to come up with any answers or solutions. I can listen fully to my clients and really pay attention to not only what they are saying but also to how they are saying it, and what it really is that they are trying to get across. Most of us are not very good with words, ask anyone who feels misunderstood about saying something that escalated into an argument. Many of us will ask a question when we should be requesting our intention.

For example:

My bugbear with this was always as follows: “Gabby, would you like to go have a bath?” To which I would always get the same reply, “No thanks Dad.” So, I would then need to say: “It is bath time, please go bath.” And so, the dialog would continue.

Now I simply tell the person what I would like. For example, I now say: “My Gabby, it is time for you to have a bath, please will you go bath now.” No question, and it works for both of us.

This works with my clients as well, especially when closing a cycle of coaching. I listen, I understand what the client is looking for and then offer them a solution which I then follow up with my request. My request is that I would like them to get started on the program with me right away.

Has it been worthwhile? In my mind, undoubtedly so. (did you see what I just did there….In my mind… 😊 ) Yes, without a doubt, it has been worth every single minute. In fact, not a day goes by in which I do not practice at least one form of mindfulness.

Over the next few posts, I will expand on some of the other benefits that I have gained from my mindfulness practices.

I would like to encourage all of you to go mindfully into this weekend. That does not mean that you need to sit in quiet contemplation, but rather just be present in the moment. Whether you are enjoying a beer with friends, having your haircut or sharing a meal with your partner. Soak up the moment, take note of the smells, the sounds, the sights, the taste and your feelings and emotions. Let it be like a multi-dimensional photograph, one that you can replay next week when you stuck in the traffic or daydreaming in the office. Try it, I can guarantee that you will thank yourself.

Follow my facebook page My Every Day is a Holiday to get a glimpse into the journey of mindfulness as it unfolds in my life.

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Problems?

What problems are you facing today? Somehow our problems often seem bigger than they really are. When you consider that someone lost a wife today, someone was diagnosed with terminal cancer, someone’s business was closed and they can no longer support their family or their staff.

Even when we feel like we have had a bad day, our problems are often insignificant.

Instead then, let us focus on the things that we are grateful for.

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Friday -was your week successful?

Friday, time to take stock of my progress. Every Monday we set deliverables for ourselves at the office. They live on a board across from my desk, so I see them every single time I look up from my keyboard.

This week was a 60% week for me. While 60% might not seem like a successful week, I can assure you that had I not set my deliverables I would have no idea how productive I was. The other thing that you would not know is that the 2 weeks before were both 30% weeks. So by having my Friday check-in I can assess my progress and work towards closing off any outstanding tasks that were prioritized for the week. This helps me set tasks for next week which are achievable, yet outside my comfort zone.  I can reassess some of the commitments that I have made and fallen a little short on, and check to see if they are still aligned with our companies Vision and if they are projects that I might potentially need assistance on. We consistently plan, implement, measure, adapt and learn in this office. We set our sights very high, and commit to achieving the grandest versions of ourselves. Yes, we fall short of the target, but falling short is still a long way ahead of those that are not aiming at anything. We will never reach the perfection that we aiming at because in order to do so we would have to stop learning and growing, and it is in our nature to learn and grow.

One of my coaching clients is nearing the end of their coaching engagement with me. We did a check in to track the progress and I am happy to say that by week 10 of 12 we are ahead of schedule and have accomplished a breakthrough in areas that were not even the original focus point of the coaching. We know this because we have been tracking the progress every week and monitoring the improvement on a consistent basis. Early on in the coaching engagement, the weekly scores were often sitting at 20 – 30%, we are now consistently seeing 80% weeks and the weekly goals have become far more onerous and challenging.

How do you monitor your progress? Do you know exactly what needs to be done in order to accomplish that which you have set out to achieve? Or are you too busy being busy to know how effective you are from one day to the next?

Just as a high-performance athlete has a coach that monitors his progress and designs specific programs to capitalize on his strengths so to do the high-performance individuals that choose to work with me. One of my greatest joys is getting feedback from my clients letting me know that the work I do makes a profound difference in their lives.

We are now approaching the final quarter of 2018. Are you on track to achieve everything you wanted to this year? If not, I invite you to get in touch with me and let us work together to make it happen.

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Slow Down….

As Jack Johnson says in the lyrics of his song titled Inaudible Melodies: “Slow down everyone you moving too fast…”

Life moves fast, very fast and as a result we tend to be so focussed on the future that we forget to be mindful of the present. We are planning ahead, working towards the next big thing, filling our diaries weeks in advance. It is little wonder that the rate of frustration and stress is at an all time high. Anxiety levels are increasing. The average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950’s. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/200804/how-big-problem-is-anxiety) This problem is getting progressively worse.

If I rewind my life back a few years, I can see how I was running headlong into the path of high anxiety, stress and frustration. Not dealing with these issues lead to depression, which unmanaged resulted in a nervous breakdown and suicidal thoughts. Every morning I would wake up and charge headlong into the day and end up following the same road which ended in a big black hole. Day after day, month after month, charging forwards and ending up in the same dark place. From the outside things looked good, I had a stable job, a nice house, no debt other than my house repayments. I was on the path to success. I believed in what I did, and I was successful by my own standards, but the more successful I was the more stressed I was becoming and less satisfied with life. That did not matter though, happiness lives in the future. The future was just around the next corner.

Society has us working towards the elusive happiness that lives somewhere in the future. The bigger TV, that overseas holiday, the 6-figure bank account, the new car. We slave away at self-imposed prison sentences that keep us striving to be better than we were yesterday. Some people end up working so hard that they need to go to the pub or spend a weekend clubbing to relax, and then needing to work harder to save more money.

So 2018 has been a year of slowing down for me. Well, actually 2018 has been a year of starting back up from scratch. I am very mindful of what I am building and how I am going about building it. I started from nothing, not a single client. I just want to get out there and build up my practice, ready to invest the 16-hour days to get the cash flow rolling, but I am not doing that. I have worked hard at slowing down. Working realistic hours, living in the moment and being present to my thoughts, feelings and the task at hand. My default setting is still tuned to the old programming of working hard, fast and long, but I am able to quieten that voice and be present. It has not been an easy journey, but training for anything is never easy. I have taken to training my mind in the same way that an athlete trains their body for an event. The difference is clear. I am happy, relaxed, of clear mind and motivated to help other people.

My coaching is geared towards mindfulness and depression management solutions. If you are feeling stuck or frustrated with any aspect of your life and would like to discuss how working with a qualified coach can be of benefit to you, please get in touch with me and we can arrange a complimentary chemistry session to set you on your path.

How or what are you doing to slow down? Please comment below as I love learning new techniques.

 

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