Today was yet another day filled with frustration, almost 2 years now of the same story. The hope of a break through, an empty promise, a work inbox that has a inlet pipe 20 times larger than the tap to drain the emails out. Idle negotiations, ridiculous requests. Lunch.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, I really do, well most of the time, and that is the problem. The problem is I have come to accept that life is not smooth sailing, it is not the adventure I live on the weekends or early mornings. No life is the 8 – 5 grind, that I am accustomed to. It is not particularly difficult, not overly challenging, moderate to chronic stress (depending on what triggers the stress), financially viable, even though the months tend to last longer than the pay check. Life is just another day going through the routine, Monday through Friday. Then cut loose a bit on the weekends and do it all over again.
It is not always like this and I realize that I have just let things slide back into the uncomfortable comfort zone.
So, time to adjust the sails, change course and head into the unknown. Get some adrenalin flowing through these veins again. I can see the life I want to live, and it is right here. I am surrounded by it, yet I feel as though I am standing on the river bank unwilling to jump into the raging current for the fear that it might be the most exhilarating rush I will ever have. The longer I stand on the side the less likely I am to jump. The doubts start creeping in. The water is freezing, I will get thrashed in the rapids around the corner, I wont be able to swim back to this spot again. Yet deep down I know that what awaits is far more exiting than the prospect of standing around on the side with a bunch of people telling me every conceivable reason why I should not jump. To hell with that. Adventure is merely a leap away.
Good Bye Comfort Zone, you have bored the hell out of me! Life awaits.
Dylan in Port Alfred