Over the school holidays the girls watched the movie Frozen again, and that song “Let it go” always gets stuck in my head. It is a very catchy tune but the only words I can seem to recall are “let it go….”
That is a powerful motto. Let go of the things that no longer serve you. Let go of negative emotions. Let go of periods in your life that you have out grown. Let go of worry and stress.
Yesterday that line was stuck on repeat in my mind as I rode my motorcycle for the last time. A big part of me did not want to let it go, but in my current circumstances I did not have much of a choice. I could not afford it, I no longer used it to commute, I did not get to ride it as much as I used to and most importantly the thrill of riding the bike had been replaced by the joy of being surrounded by family.
I initially bought the bike to explore all the back roads around this part of our country and I justified the purchase by using the bike to go see clients and it was far quicker and more cost effective than my car. But seeing clients on a bike was not practical. So I mainly spent my time exploring our wonderful Eastern Cape. I traveled all over and visited places I had never been before. I cherished the solitude on my long rides, it gave me lots of head space and at the time I really needed it. I got to sleep under the stars in places I had not even planned to visit. My bike brought me much needed freedom at a time I felt trapped by life and the responsibilities I had taken on. On one ride I remember stopping at an old grave yard, I sat under a big pine tree and listened to the silence that surrounded me. I really felt free that day, as I walked around reading the headstones and wondering what the world was like for some of those laid to rest there. Many had died in frontier wars in the early 1800’s, many had succumbed to disease at a young age. My life, in spite of the difficulties I was going through, seemed like such a blessing. I praised life, and the experiences it afforded me. I was thankful to be alive and to be able to continue my journey for the years that lay ahead.
Many of my rides would start out unplanned. I would load up a sleeping bag, my coffee pot a change of clothes and head off. Sometimes I would be back home within a few hours after leaving and other times I would find myself hundreds of kilometers away from home, wondering how I would be back in time for work by Monday. I am going to miss those days, but I will always carry the memories with me.
I would love to write a story about one of my rides, but there are so many good stories I would not know which one to tell. The other problem I would have is no matter how well I managed to tell the story it would not come close to the actual experience. One would have to ride a bike to understand what I am talking about. It is the feeling of overheating when you have all your bike gear on, and then the change in temperature as you start riding and the cold air creeps up your sleeves and caresses your body as you start your early morning ride. It is the smell of the world around you, the smell of flowers blooming, or dust or of a recently burnt field. It is the relief of taking off your riding boots after a full day in the dirt under the blazing sun, stretching your feet out and sipping on an ice cold beer whilst you replay the highlights of the days ride in your mind. It lives in the fear after taking a fall in the middle of no-where that you or your bike are broken and it may be many days before you are found, and then the delight of getting up knowing that your injuries are no more that bruises and strains and the bike is still good to go. The fear of getting back on when the terrain exceeds your abilities and the only way out is to ride. It lives in the joy you get when your exhausted aching body creeps into the sleeping bag, knowing you are safe; alive and capable of more.
In the time I had my bike I stretched my comfort zone. I learnt a lot about myself. I learnt to trust myself and I would often realize that all of this can change in the blink of an eye.
Another chapter in my life is closed. I am glad that I got to share bike trips with my family and friends. I am grateful for my time alone on the bike. More importantly though I am grateful that I was safe, I am grateful that I was uninjured.
The beauty about closing a chapter in one’s life is that you now have a new chapter to write. I am not sure what this chapter will hold for me, but I do know that this time I am not going alone. Our new chapter begins today filled with love; adventure; excitement and growth. I have my prefect travel companion, my soul mate and fellow adventure seeker. So it is time to get out and start creating our next adventure.
For more of our thoughts and journeys visit crAzy always wins