What would you be willing to do to create the perfect life?

Many of us dream of having the perfect body; or the perfect relationship; the perfect job and many other fanciful dreams.

Imagine if I could guarantee that I could help you make this a reality? What would you be willing to do to make it happen?

Firstly, I do not believe that so-called perfection exists. We might land the perfect job, but after a while, there are bound to be certain aspects that will irritate us, or worse still we might end up getting bored with this perfection.

On the other hand, if perfection did exist, what would it look like to you? I know of many people who strive for perfection, yet it always seems to elude them. The bodybuilder who reaches his ideal weight and reaches that point he has been working so hard to achieve suddenly moves his own goal posts. The entrepreneur who has a turnover figure in mind to make him feel like he has arrived, soon finds himself chasing more.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be better or to keep creating bigger goals and dreams. In fact, that is part of being a human. The trouble comes when we want perfection.

Perfection is a lot like chasing the end of the rainbow. One never quite gets there, it is always just out of reach.

So, if not perfection then what should we strive for?

How about taking a moment to consider that you may actually be perfect just the way you are? There is no way to attain perfection you simply are perfect.

This takes away the need to try and achieve perfection. For me, this then becomes another of life’s great dualities. We cannot achieve perfection as it is elusive, yet we are perfect as we are. I cannot even describe perfection, let alone imagine what it might look like.

So where am I going with all this?

I find myself focusing on the things that I would like to avoiding my life rather than focusing on the things that I would like to attract in my life. I know full well that this is opposite of how I should behave, yet throughout the day I catch myself thinking about so-called problems or things that I should be paying less attention to.

For example, I am in the process of getting a little more active. As I am relatively unfit, my motivation is low. I find myself thinking about avoiding the couch or the bed after work. I think about how I should make sure that I do not “work overtime”. A far better use of my time would be to think of the benefits of going for that run or swim. I could imagine how much better I would feel afterward. I know all of this, and still, I struggle to maintain the focus that I feel I should have.

Instead of thinking about perfection, I could choose to focus on what I can do today that would take me one step closer to where I want to be.

I could take action instead of just thinking about it. Like you I know a lot of the things that I should do but I don’t always implement them. The old story about good intentions and things.

What I have learned though is to keep taking small steps towards my desired outcome. I now find myself walking through the house practicing a sequence of karate moves, or driving around with my book so that I can read for a few minutes while waiting for the kids to finish school. I carry around a notebook to encourage me to write down my ideas. We have a shelf in the fridge full of water bottles and we keep no soft drinks around. I have created little habits that assist me in moving forward even when I am not always in the mood.

Perfect, not anywhere close, however, I am moving in the direction of my chief desire and some day’s I go slower than others, but every day I take a step forward. One day I will end up being a product of all these little quirks and habits of mine, and I hope that I will be proud of who I have become on this journey.

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How compliments stopped my writing

Listen to the newest episode of my podcast, Warrior Tribe: How compliments create pressure https://anchor.fm/warriortribe/episodes/How-compliments-create-pressure-e2khgc

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Overcoming negative patterns

Listen to the newest episode of my podcast, Warrior Tribe: Overcoming negative patterns https://anchor.fm/warriortribe/episodes/Overcoming-negative-patterns-e2kgr8

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The ugly truth of People Pleasing…

I always thought that I could make a difference in the world. I learned early on that helping people and solving their problems was a great currency when it came to making new friends and fitting into a group of people. I worked hard to become good at being helpful. By the time I was 12 years old, it was part of my make up. If a teacher needed something done I would be first to put up my hand. A friend in need could rely on me to drop what I was doing to help out. The problem was that this helpfulness was coming from a space of desperately wanting to fit in. Wanting to be noticed. Continue reading

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Losing my mind

https://taniamadams.com/2018/11/13/how-my-husband-lost-his-mind-and-why-i-am-so-happy-he-did/

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Listen to the newest episode of my podcast, Warrior Tribe: We all get second chances

If you scared of failure you need to listen to this.

https://anchor.fm/my-everyday-is-a-holiday-/episodes/We-all-get-second-chances-e2ivu5

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Will 2019 be YOUR best year?

For the past few years, I keep promising myself that next year will be my year. Things will be better next year. Things will go smoother, I will get fit again. Next year is the year of the body. Next year I will make a difference.

I know that I am not alone. So many people that I engage with have the same story. Next year will be THE year. Yet, life doesn’t seem to play like that.

There are only 51 days left this year. That is 7 weeks that we have left to ensure that we complete all our goals of 2018. Is that enough time for you to ensure that 2018 was the best year ever? You have 1224 hours left, how are you going to spend them?

Continue reading

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